Everybody Wants to Rule the World

There are certain things in this world that are generally considered a bad idea. Running with scissors. Mullets. Joining secret societies bent on world domination.

An unexpected package arrived in the mail today. Since I wasn’t expecting this unexpected package, I was naturally curious. I glanced at the name to be sure it was actually sent to the right person at the right address…yep, it’s for me! So then I glanced at the return address to see who it was from.

"The Sobieski World Domination Initiative". Zomg.
Um. What?!?

My initial thought was “OMG, I’m getting a package from a world domination organization?? Whoa.”  My next thought was “They really shouldn’t put that on the return address label. Homeland security will be ALL OVER THAT.” And then I thought that it was actually pretty brilliant. It’s like hiding in plain sight. I mean, no world domination organization would be that obvious about it, right? Unless you’re trying to throw everyone off the scent. Well played, Sobieski World Domination Initiative, well played.

Consumed with curiosity, I opened the package and discovered…a diaper. But I am fairly certain that this is no ordinary diaper. It may or may not be a diaper that the owner of Babies Bottoms and More ordered for me because she was out of this color when I stopped by earlier this week. More likely, it’s a cleverly disguised James Bond style gadget that I will somehow use when it comes time to take over the world. It’s the perfect cover, really. NOBODY SUSPECTS A DIAPER. And nobody wants to touch one either, especially if it’s loaded. (Safety tip: Always treat a diaper as if it’s loaded). Even if I can't figure out how the super sekrit gadget works, I can use it as a loaded diaper as a fallback.

"Beware of loaded diaper."

If you google Sobieski World Domination Initiative you won’t find much. It appears to be a small business based out of Saint Paul. It’s all so seemingly innocent. That’s just what they want you to think. I’m not fooled. I KNOW THE TRUTH.


Now I’m just waiting to hear what I should do next. And for my official Sobieski World Domination Initiative commemorative pin, koozie and keychain to arrive in the mail.

After all, every self-respecting world domination organization distributes swag to its members.


1 comment:

  1. I wish I could get a diaper sent to my home. I'm in desperate need of swag. I always wanted to go belt-less in the streets.